Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic/addict. Asking for help is one of the hardest thing to do. Sometimes we know we need help, but are too afraid to ask. Katrina Mayer said, "I'm courageous enough to know I can accomplish great things. I'm humble enough to know when to ask for help." That is so true. Asking for help is not a sign for weakness. It shows that you know you can do it, but need a hand to hold. Anything is easier when someone, a friend or God, is there by your side. Even if they aren't doing anything or saying anything, you know you are not alone. Life can be scary sometimes, but you always have a friend to stand with if you just ask. Maybe that person was too afraid to ask you. And you just helped them too without even knowing it. Here is a little poem I wrote.
Friend I love how you don't judge me. You have been in my shoes. You were always there to listen. When I had nothing to lose. I live like there's no tomorrow. I enjoy every moment alive. You've taught me to be happy. I feel so revived. So thank you for always being there. And extending out your hand. To help me up when I fell down. And hold me steady when I stand. Don't forget a do have a book out, that all these and more, poems are in. It is called "From the Weeds." Let me know if you are interested in a signed copy! Have a great day!
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Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic/addict. I have been talking about depression and being down, and getting back up. Now that I'm sober, my life has gotten better. Not perfect but a lot better. I still have bad days, but I need to look at it this way. It's one day. Tomorrow is an new day, so just make it through this day, and enjoy the good in it. And ya know what? In a few days or weeks, I probably won't even remember it. Now some days I will never forget, losing a loved one, losing a job or what not. But a lot of the "bad" days, just aren't as good as we expected. Sometimes we expect every day to be fantastic and amazing. But in reality, it's life. We all have our ups and downs. There are some people who we think have it all, all the money, all the friends, fancy cars, and fancy houses. We think their life is perfect. But look at Robin Williams, he had it all, or so we thought. He had everything, but his true happiness. When you take away all the material things, he is just like us. Another human being trying to make it through it this thing we call life. And we only have one shot at it, so why not enjoy the ride. So keep your head up, and have a great day!
Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict. Yesterday, I talked about crying out for help. It's along that same line today. Life can seem so dark at times, like the pain will never end. I feel like I'm going the wrong way. I have taken so many wrong turns. There is no way life could get better. I've made so many mistakes. There is no hope. I have all these thoughts running through my head. But I need to stop and think a second, and look forward. I can only go forward to the light. If I turn around, it will only stay dark. I have to keep moving though, toward the light. Things will get better, I don't have to stay stuck in my own misery. But if I sit here in the dark, and don't move at all, it will never get better. I have to put one foot in front of the other to get somewhere. There is an acronym for HOPE. Hang On Pain Ends. It can only stay dark for so long. There is another little quote I like "If there's no light at the end of the tunnel, march on down there and turn it on yourself." -Patricia Morse. The light doesn' just happen, you have to go towards it. Here's a little poem I wrote.
Inevitable The rain is cold and dreary, yes, But soon the storm is done. The cold dark night surrounds me now, yet the warmth of the sun is soon to come. So keep your head up, and keep on keeping on. Have a great day! Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict. I have been thinking a lot about crying out for help. When I was younger, I was secretly crying out for help. I was silent and wrote depressing, suicidal poems about it. Some were pretty dark, but that was how I felt. I'm just glad it didn't acutally get that far. Everyone cries out for help in a different way, a lot of the time though, it is through silence. No one cared about my problems, so why share them with anyone. It was life and my messed up head. It wasn't anyone's business. And no one would ever be able to talk to me about it. They would be doctors, who knew the "book" side of it, but not the "heart" side of it. They were going to tell me how to feel, or what I should feel. No one REALLY knew how I felt or could really help me. Now today, I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, I just had to reach for it. If I reach my hand out for help, there will be someone there to hold it. I couldn't have done it alone. But now today, I am a very blessed woman, who wouldn't change anything, it makes me who I am today. And I am stronger for that. Here is a poem I wrote.
The Writing on the Wall As she wrote them in her closet, and on the walls of her bedroom. The "acceptable" ones were available for all to see. They were convincingly composed by a seemingly cheery individual. While hidden in the closet was the truth. There she wrote the anguished, cynical thoughts and feelings of reality. Others were blind to her true behavior. Her anxious demeanor was buried in lies. On the outside was a bright, easygoing soul. A humorous, quirky character. She knew not the blessings before her, so kept holding on to the contradictive manor of her ways. For many years she continued this. When will the truth be told? Or will it ever. With that being said, listen to the silence you may be hearing from someone you love or care about. They may be calling out for help, so really listen to them. That's all for today. Have a great one! Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict. I have really learned that being alone and being lonely are two different things. If you can be comfortable with yourself by yourself, you are not lonely. When I was drinking, I was lonely and isolating myself. I avoided going to family functions, to friend's houses, anything. I didn't want to be around anyone else, none the less myself. I was sulking in my own miserableness. I had to learn to ask others for help. " We gradually and carefully pull ourselves out of the isolation and loneliness of addiction and into the mainstream of life." Basic Text p. 35. I need the fellowship of other people to continue getting better. I cannot do it alone. There is another little saying I like. " You are confined only by the walls you build yourself. Here is a poem I wrote.
the wall i've been hiding won't let you in brick by brick building this wall burying my soul now cautiously removing each I felt so alone, but I built the wall myself, and now must slowly tear it down brick by brick. Well, that's all for today, Have a great one! Good afternoon! My name is Lauren and I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict. I am so blessed to have so many people who really care about me. I have gained a lot of new, true friends in recovery. A lot of the people I met in treatment, I consider family. They were there with me to start this new chapter in my life. I continue to talk to a lot of them on a regular basis. We are all connected, in that were all lost, but trying to find ourselves. I have chosen some pretty cool people to call family! Good friends are like stars, you can't always see them, but you know they are always there. There are some people in recovery that I may be able to talk to more easily because they have been where I have been. I couldn't "connect" with someone who is suffering from a fatal illness, like cancer, or give comfort to someone who had lost a parent or child, in the way that one who has "been there" could. But put me in the room with another alcoholic/addict, and we could talk all day long. I'm not saying I don't have any good communication skills with those who are not addicts. I can talk to anyone. :) But it is easier to talk to someone about certain things who have been in your shoes. I am learning to communicate better in general. Well, that's all for today! Have a great one!
Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful, not boring, recovering alcoholic/addict. Some people I used to hang out with haven't invited me to hang out since I got sober. I don't know if they think that I think I am better than them or that I don't like people that drink. It's not that at all. I just can't drink, because I can't just have one, or just drink socially, I take it to a whole other level. Or maybe they think I am boring, or dull. I am still fun. I am actually more fun, because I don't get loud and do stupid things like I used to do. And just because I quit drinking doesn't mean I sit in my house all day and judge the world. I do fun stuff, with my family, with my kids, friends. We go hiking, swimming, and fishing. This summer we had a "Summer '14 Bucket List." It consisted of 75 fun things to do during the summer. Just enjoying the world, and those I care about about, instead of wasting my time an energy and not remebering a lot of stuff. I have learned to have fun without being wasted. If you think sobriety is boring, you are not doing it right! :) Have a great day!
Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict. Since I've been in recovery, I have been worried about people judging me. According to Webster's dictionary to judge means "to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises." So judging really can't be done unless you know someone very well and have heard their whole story. Once you have heard their story, it will will more sense. So in all actuallity, no one can "really " judge me, but God, because He is perfect. And He will judge me fairly. He knows I am not perfect, I am human, for if I were perfect, I would not be human. I have also learned that I cannot judge others either. I need to be less critical. Who am I to talk? I have made a lot of bad decisions. I have gone down a lot of wrong roads. But I have also done a lot of good things. Just because I was drinking and such, doesn't make me a bad person, I just made some bad decisions. So who am I to give advice? I cannot and should not tell anyone what they should or should not do, only tell about my personal experience and opinions. So with you I share my blog. Have a great day!
Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict. I've really been thinking a lot about friends. I thought I lost some friends when I was really drinking, and lost some too when I quit. But maybe they weren't really friends. Not a lot of people stuck around during my excessive drinking. And if you are reading this and feel guilty, I'm sorry. It is what it is. If you don't want to be friends with me, I can't make you. I have learned what real friends are. And now I am finding and making real friends. Real friends who genuinely care about me, who listen to me, and who I want to listen to as well. No offense to anyone, but not just a drinking buddy. I am not saying I didn't enjoy my time with you. That was my lifestyle then, and that's what I wanted. I just wanted someone to drink with. And I didn't really have "problems" or "feeling" to share, I was drinking them away. I didn't want to deal with them. So with that being said, "A real frined is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." -Walter Winchell. Have a great day!
Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic/addict. One thing I have always struggled with, is loving myself, being happy with who I am. I have always felt like somewhat of a failure. I was good in sports and did good in school but inside always felt defeated. I was never pretty enough, or whatever. I have never felt beautiful. People would say that, but I always thought they were just being nice. But in all actuality, what is pretty? Who are the "pretty police?" What am I really trying to attain? Who am I trying to please? The only person I really can please is myself. When I was drinking and such, I hid all my true feeling, I didn't want to feel, like the crappy person I was. Now, I have learned to forgive myself, and truly love myself. If I don't love myself, who else will. I have also been more aware of this, having a daughter. Growing up is hard as it is, none the less kids being mean and judging you. I need to show her she is beautiful, and make her feel and truly believe it. I need to stop being hard on myself, telling myself I'm fat. If she hears me say that, what is she going to do if she gains a few pounds? Lose all self-esteem? Feel like crap, because she thinks she is "fat." Having a daughter has really made me think of how what I do can REALLY affect others. So today I feel beautiful and am happy to be me! Have a great day!
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July 2019
Lauren YoderI'm Lauren. Get inside the head of a recovering alcoholic/ addict. |