Day 280

Good morning!  My name is Lauren and I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict.  I have been thinking a lot about crying out for help. When I was younger, I was secretly crying out for help.  I was silent and wrote depressing, suicidal poems about it.   Some were pretty dark, but that was how I felt.  I'm just glad it didn't acutally get that far.  Everyone cries out for help in a different way, a lot of the time though, it is through silence.  No one cared about my problems, so why share them with anyone.  It was life and my messed up head.  It wasn't anyone's business.  And no one would ever be able to talk to me about it.  They would be doctors, who knew the "book" side of it, but not the "heart" side of it.  They were going to tell me how to feel, or what I should feel. No one REALLY knew how I felt or could really help me.  Now today, I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, I just had to reach for it.  If I reach my hand out for help, there will be someone there to hold it.  I couldn't have done it alone.  But now today, I am a very blessed woman, who wouldn't change anything, it makes me who I am today.  And I am stronger for that.  Here is a poem I wrote.

The Writing on the Wall

As she wrote them in her closet,
and on the walls of her bedroom.
The "acceptable" ones were available for all to see.
They were convincingly composed by a seemingly cheery individual.
While hidden in the closet was the truth.
There she wrote the anguished,
cynical thoughts and feelings of reality.
Others were blind to her true behavior.
Her anxious demeanor was buried in lies.
On the outside was a bright, easygoing soul.
A humorous, quirky character.
She knew not the blessings before her,
so kept holding on to the contradictive manor of her ways.
For many years she continued this.
When will the truth be told?
Or will it ever.

With that being said, listen to the silence you may be hearing from someone you love or care about.  They may be calling out for help, so really listen to them.  That's all for today.  Have a great one!