Good afternoon! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic/addict. I really like this quote. I love finding things I have written before. When I was in treatment I wrote... a lot. I had a notebook with me all the time. At that time, I was writing letters to my family. I would write specific ones to my children, husband and parents. My daughter knew that I went to go see a doctor so he could help make me better. She knew I was sick. She knew I needed help, so it was easier for her knowing that I had to go away for a while, I was going to come back feeling better. She knew it was for the best. I was cleaning today, and found the box of letters I had written to my husband and kids. It was so interesting reading how I felt at that time. How I felt the first days getting sober. How miserable I was. How I just wanted to get better. How after so many days, I thought I was so much better. Then after more days, how much of a difference there was then too. Then by the time I left, I thought I knew it all. I had all the "tools" to help keep me sober. Reading what I wrote, and how exactly I felt, when looking back now, is so eye-opening. I don't remember the first 3-4 days. I am so glad I wrote. I can now reflect on my previous thoughts. Writing is a therapy for me. I love doing it in the moment and reading it back later. That's all for today! Have a great one!
Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic/addict. I really have enjoyed writing since I got sober. It is a different type of writing. Before, I would just write because it made me feel better, sometimes it was just words. Words I wanted to get out my head. I have started writing more in depth of my thoughts. Today I write more about comparing my feeling from the past til now. My whole thought process is different. When I changed my priorities and stopped being so selfish, a lot changed. I am so much happier now. It amazes me how much attitude has affect on my life. When I was negative, my life sucked, or so I thought. I thought every one was out to get me. I felt like I was bad, and no one would ever forgive me. I felt I would never amount to anything. I was just here to get married, have kids, and try to live a normal life like everyone else. I wasn't special, I had no talent. I was just miserable. Once I got sober, and truly understood how blessed I really am, and started be grateful and caring, my life got better. I want to share my love and joy. It takes guts for me to be so open and honest. Sometimes I wonder why I write what I do. Sometimes I think I write too much. But my life is an open book. I have nothing to hide. I am no longer a prisoner of my past, or ashamed of who I am today. that's all for today! Have a great one!
Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic/addict. I have talked about how I am so glad I changed, or had the courage to change. When I first saw this quote, I thought how wrong it was. I changed . I had changed everything about my life. But when I really though about it, it is so true. My priorities changed. My life didn't revolve around alcohol, it didn't take over life anymore. My priorities were now my family, my health, my life. I never really understood how much priorities has an impact on your life. I just thought I really liked alcohol, how it made me feel, or not feel. I liked it a lot. I really didn't think, at that time, that there was a problem. Everyone else had the problem, not me. I just like alcohol, and people didn't like that, and I didn't care. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. I was being very selfish. When I got sober, and I wasn't my first priority, (or at least, not to the extent of me only thinking about myself, and not others) I started to see how happy I could be by sharing the real me, sharing my true feelings. So this quote could go both ways. I didn't change, my priorities did. So when I changed my priorities, everything else changed. It made me, be me again. Not me hiding behind drugs and alcohol. Me open, me vulnerable, me honest, me true to myself. So I am glad I changed...I changed my priorities, so that changed everything else about me. That's all for today. Have a great one!
Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic/addict. One year ago today, I got into a car accident. My car flipped on its side and ran into a house. I don't remember anything. I wasn't drinking yet, it was 5:00 am. I was on my way to work. Last thing I remember was leaving the gas station. Next thing I remember is waking up and seeing house numbers. I had run into a house. My car was on it's side. There was at least 6 inches of snow on the ground, and a windchill of -20. I was stuck in my car for 45 minutes. They had to cut the roof of my car to get me out, because my seat belt was stuck. I was freaking out, I just wanted out. I just wanted to go home. But they had to take me to the hospital. It was terrible, I was so scared. My addict mind, just wanted to go home and drink. To forget this ever happened. But that accident saved my life. That was my wake up call. Two weeks later is when I went to rehab. That accident was the best thing that could have happened to me at that time in my life. I can't believe it's been a year. So much has changed in my life. So much good, I'm sober, happy, and loving life, not taking anything for granted. It could be taken away in an instant. Sometimes accidents happen, but something so wonderful can come from it. That's all for today! Have a great one!
Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic/addict. When I was drinking, I was around people, but was so alone. People were there, but there weren't people there for me, I wasn't there for anyone. I had pushed people away. I was just part of the crowd, taking up space. At the end of my drinking, I was alone. I had created my lonely hole myself. I felt so different I didn't want anyone to know the real me. The sick, pathetic, lonely, hopeless me. Then when I first got sober, I felt alone because I had isolated myself so much. I pushed everyone away that really cared about me. Then when I got home, I felt alone, because all the people that I came home to, didn't understand me. They didn't understand why I made the decision I did. Why I had cared so little for myself, and others. It was hard for me to explain myself, my faults, and thoughts. I felt terrible, as though I wasn't worth this second chance I'd been given. But then got to know some awesome people that were happy, happy to be alive, happy to be sober, happy to be free. Free of the chains of addiction. I'm not saying I am recoverED, I am recoverING. I am choosing, on a daily basis, my sobriety. So now, I am not alone. I don't choose to be. I choose to be involved in my life, the lives of my children, and family. I choose to be happy. That's all for today! Have a great one!
Good afternoon! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic/addict. When I got sober, I had to change my attitude about everything. But me realizing and differentiating what I could and could not change was ever harder. There were a lot of things I couldn't change. And somethings I wanted to change at the time, looking back I'm ok with how they were. Sometimes, I would think it would have been better for me to never have started drinking. But then I wouldn't be able to help others going through what I did. I would just be another "normal" person. Sometimes, I wonder who decides what is normal or not. What are the specifications for "normal?" Is there a questionnaire you have to fill out to be considered normal? And wouldn't be the person in charge of assigning the "normal" sticker be abnormal because they are obsessive about stereotyping? No one is normal, but everyone thinks they are normal, and everyone else isn't. Wow, sorry for that rant. :) But anyways, I can't change the past, and now looking back I wouldn't change it. I need to only focus my energy on what I can change and that is only me, and my reactions. I need to let go of the past, leave it where it is, and keep moving forward. And it's not only realizing what I can't change, but accepting that. Realizing is seeing it, but accepting it is feeling it and believing it. That's all for today. Have a great one!
Good afternoon! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic/addict. I used to always think what I did whatever I did because it made me happy. When I drank, I had fun, I was happy. But I wasn't. I thought I was hiding my feelings, stuffing them down to never really be felt. But boy was I wrong. I was going to end up feeling them, whether I liked it or not, and it ended up being all at once. I have learned to do what truly makes me happy. Praising God for my many blessings. Spending time with my family. Making memories, smiling, being silly with the kids, laughing. Loving them makes me happy, helping them makes me happy, making them smile makes me happy. I am so blessed to be able to enjoy what God has given me. I used to take for granted how lucky, well not lucky, but how blessed I really am. I shouldn't take for granted anything I have, and I need to be less self-centered. I will say, I have improved quite a bit, but am by no means perfect and do still struggle with it. I have to ask God for His help, to get me through each day, to live for Him and and for Him to keep be sober one more day, one day at a time. So today, I live, laugh and love more than I ever have before, and it feels amazing! Have a great day!
Good afternoon! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic/addict. For my New Year's resolution, I chose to be healthier, like a million other people. :) But I am serious. Last year started off terrible. I got into a bad car accident, then went to rehab, but that's what started my sobriety. After treatment, I had to take care of myself. At that point I was more focused on the mental side. I was such a mess from drinking, I didn't know which way was up. In treatment, they said it would be months, maybe a year before my head would be clear. When I was 30 days sober, I thought I knew everything and was thinking right again. But as the months passed it got clearer and clearer. It's crazy. Looking back now, I was no where near clearheaded, but it sure was a lot more than clear than when I was using. Today, at almost 1 year sober, I have never felt this good in my life. Since I have been so focused on my mental state and consciousness, I have been slacking a little on my physical state. Before, I was drinking all the time, and I never ate. I was drinking empty calories. I was thinner, but had a very distended abdomen from the swelling of my insides. Once I got sober, I had to learn to eat again. To eat healthy. At first, it was hard, I wasn't used to eating food, none the less healthy food. In treatment, we had 3 meals per day, with healthy snacks in between. When I got home, I had to make food. (something I had never really done before) Now I cook regularly. Needless to say, I put on a few pounds. So as of January 1st, I started working out everyday, and eating healthier. I have learned that food that is good for you, doesn't have to be food that doesn't taste good. So now, it is time to take care of the physical me. It was hard at first, but so was getting sober. So I use the same mindset for this. Once day at a time. I don't have to tell myself I am going to work out for the rest of my life...one day at a time. It actually feels good now to be sore. It feels like I am doing something. I am proud of myself, for what I have done in my life. Where I am today. Who I have become. Well, that's all for today. Have a great one!
Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic/addict. I am now actually living. Before, I was going through the motions, and watching life pass me by. I have learned to life like there is no tomorrow. I want to leave a positive footprint on this earth. I want to genuinely share my life's journey. I keep saying "to other alcoholic/addicts", but in reality I should be saying everyone. I don't need to separate myself from others. Those not struggling with addiction or alcoholism may get something out of what I say too. What I say doesn't only deal with with addicts, it can be used in daily life. Also, what I say, it just my opinion, not what I think you should do, or how you should live. It is just how I feel about where I was, compared to where I am today. I notice a huge difference in myself, in my attitude on everything, work and family life. I feel more like an asset to my family, than a hindrance. Before, with my depression and hatefulness toward everything, I resonated a negative aura. With my current, positive, attitude, I feel so blessed. God has given me so much to live for, and just realizing that was a huge step. So hopefully me sharing the hope we have in God, will help just one person, get through one more day. I'm not saying what I say or do will change the world, but me sharing on this blog, if anyone reads it or not, is healing to me. So that's all for today. Have a great one!
Good morning! My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic/addict. I had previously walked through life feeling as if I had no purpose. Well, I guess I was here to be a wife and mother, but that was about it. I really didn't feel like I was here to do anything. Once I got sober, I had a whole new outlook. I was here for a reason. I had a purpose. Maybe it was to go though part of my life as an alcoholic/addict, to be able to help others recovering as well. I feel that what I have done, helps me communicate better to those who want the same thing I have, the same thing I want, sobriety. My passion now is life: loving it and living it. Me loving what I have and understanding how truly blessed I am, is an amazing thing. God didn't give me a second chance, it was all part of His plan. If I wasn't an alcoholic, I wouldn't be able to help other alcoholics. I wouldn't be able to appreciate what I do have. Who knows what I would be doing. But not doing what I love: helping people, caring for people, sharing with people, loving people. Do what you love and you will love what you do. I am so happy now, so full of joy. That is an amazing thing. That's all for today! Have a great one!
I'm Lauren. Get inside the head of a recovering alcoholic/ addict.