Day 288

Good morning!  My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic/addict.  I used to think I deserved what I had.  I deserved to be miserable because of what I had done or not done.  I didn't deserve to happy. But it is true,  the moment I decided what I thought I really deserved, I knew I deserved it.  I deserved better.  I deserved to be happy.  But it wasn't only about what I deserved, it was about my family.  My kids didn't deserve to lose their mom when they were 6 and 2, because of her drinking. They didn't deserve to have her miss their first recital, their first t-ball game.   My husband didn't deserve to have a wife that didn't care, that didn't act like a "wife."  Last year, at school he looked like a singe father.  HE was the one going to her parent/teacher conferences. HE was the one picking her up at the bus stop.  They deserved better, to be happy. So now I am doing to what I can to make them happy, to make me happy.  To do what is best for my family.  I had to learn that my past was the past and I didn't deserve to be miserable for the rest of my life, I deserved to be happy.  So one day at a time, I will make my life better, and be happy.  Happiness is appreciating what you have, not getting what you want.  That's all for today!  Have a great one!