Day 301

Good afternoon!  My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic/addict.  I know I am late today at posting this.  But it s a day I have not experienced yet in sobriety.  I was sick all night, I mean all night.  I could get out of bed to go to work.  Lying in bed today for hours and hours made me really think of how "sick" I was.  I was so used to throwing up multiple times a day, it was "normal" for me.  I was so used to being miserable, that was all I knew. I'm sitting here typing, ashamed of how I used to be.  My daughter has her Christmas program at school tonight.  I still feel like crap, but I will be there for her this year.  I can't imagine being like this all day everyday.  I would work like this, because I had to.  If I missed work, I would lose money on my paycheck, and that bought my alcohol.  So "Ya do what ya gotta do!"  I don't ever want to go back to the way things were.  I had to get to the point where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired to be able to change.  Well, I got to that point.  So here I am today, reminiscing of how miserable I was, and how happy I am now.  So even though I am really "sick" today, I don't want to be "sick" again.  Have a great day!