Day 302

Good afternoon!  My name is Lauren and I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict.  Yesterday, I was sick.  Today I feel better, but not great.  I did a lot of thinking while laying in bed yesterday, not being able to sleep when I should have been.  I was thinking of all the times I was sick.  I was so sick physically it didn't matter anymore.  I was more sick, emotionally and mentally.  The physical sickness was a norm.  I had learned how to deal with puking and headaches, but the whole, nothing going on in my head and emotions, or lack thereof, all across the board was making me crazy. I was getting emotionally exhausted.  I had felt nothing for so long, I had no where to go.  I had hit my bottom.  Like I said yesterday, I had to get sick and tired of being sick and tired, before I was ever going to change anything.  It was the hardest decision in my life I had ever had to make, but the best one.  And now I have more emotions I know what to do with, which is a good thing.  I am feeling.  I am human again, and with that so comes life: good and bad, triumphs and struggles.  It feels good to feel again.  That's all for today!  Have a great one!