Day 342

Good morning!  My name is Lauren and I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic/addict.  When I was in treatment, I knew I was going to have to earn my trust back from everyone: my husband, my children, my parents, friends, and boss. Each one was going to be different.  I lied to all of them, but in different ways.  I lied to make myself think that what  I was doing, ok.  I had broken each person's trust in different way.  I knew that just me saying I was sorry, was not going to be enough.  You can only say sorry so many times, before it has no meaning at all.  Pretty soon, it just becomes words you say, to make yourself feel better after doing something wrong.  Saying sorry is different than apologizing. To me, an apology is a true change of heart, an understanding that I was wrong, in what I did or said. And my trust was not going to be gained my telling everyone I was sorry, and I wasn't ever going to do it again.  It was earned by actions.  Me living what I was sorry for, in the right way day after day. I had to be able to trust myself too.  Another phrase I like is, "Trust takes years to earn, seconds to break, and forever to repair."  Boy is that true.  I know for some people, I may never fully get their trust back, and that is my own fault.  But I can work every day towards that.  To be honest, and truthful.  To be living my words through actions.  That's all for today!  Have a great one!