Day 575 Clean & Sober

Good morning!  My name is Lauren, and I am grateful, recovering alcoholic/addict.  I heard some sad news today.  A girl I know, and I won't tell you who if you ask me, is in the hospital on suicide watch.  It's not someone you'd think would be there.  They're normal, fun, involved.  But deep, down hurting.  The only reason I know this is because I was once like this.  I was a cutter too years ago.  I have a few scars, but not bad ones.  But still reminders of the deep depression I was once in.  The lies I told people, "I'm fine",  "I'm ok."  The long sleeves I would wear to cover the cuts so my mom wouldn't see them.  My head was so messed up.   There were times I was suicidal, but I don't know if I really wanted to die, I just wanted the pain to stop.  What pain, you ask?  I was 15.  I was a kid, with no problems.  Life hadn't even started yet.  Oh, but yes it had.  Boys, friends, or lack there of, horomones, being undiagnosed bi-polar, manic depressive, was only the beginning.  Then I started to drink and drug the pain away, so I didn't have to feel anything.  Really listen to the people you love when you ask them questions.  The short answers, are usually the quick way out of the truth.  Listen to them.  It may not be what you want to hear, but they need you to hear it.  Please.  I'm a lucky one who made it through.  There is hope, I am proof.  It does get better.  That's all I have for today.  Have a great one!