Day 623

Good afternoon!  My name is Lauren, and I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic/addict.  When I was drinking and using, there was such chaos in my life, I was never going to find peace....with anyone else or myself.  I was at the point wherer I was pushing everyone away and was isolating and avoiding everything so I was trying to get away from everything I possibily could.  I was trying to get away from paying bills, talking to people, family functions, etc.  But you can only do so much.  I had to go to work, or I would lose my job, and then I couldn't drink anymore, so I had to continue to do that.  There was no balance in my life.  It was one extreme or the other.  That is one thing I have learned in my sobriety that I have to have some sort of balance or I will completely lose it.  Extremes are bad for me, but that's naturally how I am, all or nothing.  I have learned to tone it down and learned some balance.  Without that, I will never have peace in my life, I will be stuck in the chaotic, vicious cirlce I always put myself in.  That's all I have for today.  Have a great one!