Day 759 (25 Months Clean & Sober)

Good morning!  My name is Lauren, and I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic/addict.  One thing I can never forget is my last drunk, and I say drunk, because it wasn't my last drink.  I was going out with a bang, I was on my way to treatment, and they told me not to stop drinking that night before, because they wanted me to be under a doctor's care when I did.  I think I went a little overboard that day though, I would buy 2 at a time of the little airplane bottles from the stewardess a couple times on my first flight, then I had to stop at the bar in the airport between flights for a few shots, then a couple more airplane bottles on the next flight.  Once I got off the place, I had to stop at the bar in the aiport one last time.  That is where I had my last few double shots.  A few people in there looked at me funny, but I didn't care.  I just knew I would never drink again, or was planning on it.  So far I haven't drank since.  But I live one day at a time.  I went to treament, and was in detox for 10 days, pretty much don't remember the next 3 days.  It was pretty rough.  But I need to remember that.  Yeah, I had a lot of fun party days in the beginning, but in the end, I was drinking to survive, I was drinking so I wouldn't have a seizure from detoxing, I was hiding it from everyone, I was miserable, I hated myself.  It wasn't worth what I was putting into it.  I have to play the tape all the way through if I were to pick up a drink again today. I would lose everything, but would pretty much be giving everything away.  It is a choice.  That's all I have for today.  Have a great one!  Remember, one day at a time!